by Jan DeJesus of Gimme Shelter Ferret Rescue

This is a story of how I feel little Fiscus must have felt his days and nights in the cellar where he was kept until he was brought to the MSPCA. Except for one young ferret lover there who placed a very worried phone call to me, Fiscus would have died. He still might...although we are trying so very hard not to let that happen. He was severely dehydrated and malnourished. He was vomiting. His major organs were so dehydrated that they could not be palpated by my vet. I cannot tell you how loving and sweet this little guy is. I am sure there are many like him who never receive our help. We are so full right now that the next Fiscus will surely die. His life will end as in the story. He will not be brought to a shelter to be given every chance on earth to find happiness and love, as there are not enough shelters to go around. What can YOU do? We need more shelters, education, homes and support to keep going and to help to end this senseless suffering. Please pitch in a few dollars to the shelter funds; join the fight. Adopt an oldie or a special needs ferret (they don't ask for much!). Dedicate a week-end or two to educate the next spontaneous ferret buyer. Because if you don't, who will?

(A word of warning. You will not be able to read the following without it bringing tears to your eyes)

If I hide in a corner, if I close my eyes real tight, Maybe this nightmare will be over, Maybe my pain will end. What did I do that was so very bad? Why did my owners put me down here all alone? It is cold and dark and I am lonely and sad. Wait! A light! My eyes hurt! I blink! But she walks right by me with a box of stuff in her arms. Look at me! You used to love me and think I was cute! I hurt so bad...I need food, water, soft beds, my cage cleaned, but most of all I need to play and get some hugs from my humans. She leaves. The lights go out. I crawl back into my corner and close my eyes. God please let this pain end soon. I am growing so weak. Is it the same day or the next? I cannot tell. The light go on. She's coming to me! She is picking me up and I am in a carrier now! Oh my! FOOD! I eat very fast! I am so hungry! We arrive at a place. It is loud with barking dogs and people and bright with lights. I am scared. I feel sick. I ate too fast. I am back in a cage. Wait: Mom! Don't leave without me! I am sorry I was bad. I won't do it again! Just let me dance for you one last time. A person is coming towards me now with something in his hands. Food? No, a needle. They say I am too old, I am too thin, the shelters are full, They cannot take me in The needle hurts, but not so very much. I am leaving now, but I pray as I die that the next time around I will belong to someone with as much love in their hearts as I have in mine. Good-Bye Fiscus Ferret

June 1, 2001... The stuff in the bowl is Timmy's Tonic. He is only able to eat liquids right now. It's sad to say but they still don't know if he's gonna make it. On his side.... he's quite a little fighter. I'll keep you posted. Diddy

UPDATE...June 6, 2001

Hello Kat, I just wanted to send you an update on Fiscus. This is a quote from his Mom Jan I have syringe fed Fiscus duck soup every day since he arrived (abt 3 months now) . I hope the pic of the rice bin with Fiscus can be used as it will show that he does have some happy days. He is not good today and you can tell he feels bad.

We have been the gammit for this little guy and it would be forever telling you how many things we have done and tried. He is going in for more x-rays tomorrow and barium tests. I love him dearly, he is one of the sweetest I have had the honor of knowing. He loves other ferrets and seems to pine for a friend, it makes me ill to think perhaps there was a former cagemate who did not make it to the mspca?? He sometimes sleeps in my bed especially when having a not so good day . Other times he feels better and will happy dance and dook. sending you a picture of one of his good days!!! Jan

UPDATE...June 15, 2001

Hi Kat, This is the latest on Mr Fiscus. I will be bringing him the Pedialyte she mentions over the weekend. Jan is so very attached to Fisky. She going to be devastated when his time comes. I'm hoping with all my heart that that won't be for awhile yet. Warmly, Diddy [Me, too. Diddy!!!...kat] [From Jan] He has had a very tough week . Today and last night were better and today he played and looks bright and good. He was asking if you know any fairy godmothers out there who can send him orange flavored pedialyte (he loves this) and vanilla ice cream. I know neither is very good for him but who cares? He is dying but hopefully dying very loved , content and happy. He also loves green grapes which I peel and crush for him and he gets a lick or two in between his duck soup feedings. I will take him on a bike ride with me in his carry sack to the beach tonight when it is cooler. I am sending you a picture of him and Luna (my nut that won the obstacle course) she loves him alot. Jan

UPDATE...June 19, 2001

[From Diddy] She has had him thoroughly checked out. Jan also works in a vet's office. Again, I'm sorry....I thought I sent you his diagnosis in one of the updates. Jan sent this to me a couple of weeks ago. I just returned from the vet and need to let you know that Mr. Fiscus has been diagnosed with Megaesophagus. It is essentially terminal in ferrets. I cannot talk about this long it hurts very badly. We had a feeling right along and I have researched it extensively. Prognosis is very poor. This is not an easy thing we do here and it gets tougher every day. Diddy

UPDATE...June 21, 2001

from Phyl Just thought I would drop a quick line to thank you for the wonderful website you have created to honor the sweet, brave Mr. Fiscus. I have known Jan for sometime and have adopted four wonderful fuzzies from her - Tobey, Tyler, Jenny and dear sweet Molly B. I saw Mr. Fiscus the day after he came into the shelter and he unknowingly took a big piece of my heart and has kept it since. This was the day after the vet had examined him and told Mark and Jan that he would probably not make it through the night. Well, here we are 3 months later and this wonderful little man has fought harder than any little ferret I have known. He has had the support of Jan, Mark and Joanie during his battle to keep going. I got an urgent email from Jan 6/18 saying that I should probably try to come over to visit him as he is having more poor days than good days. I spent about 2 hours with Mr. Fiscus, feeding him Haagen Daaz vanilla ice cream and letting him dig up Jan's pansies out in their yard. I wish I had a camera with me to capture the love that this family is pouring out to Mr. Fiscus. I watched Jan lovingly laugh as he dug in her bed of pansies. We walked around the yard and picked out a spot for Mr. Fiscus - both of us being very brave and trying very hard not to cry. I watched as Mark comforted Mr. Fiscus after he had eaten a small amount of ice cream and was having a hard time keeping it down. Then I watched as Joanie, their daughter, syringe-fed him duck soup and orange pedi, stroking his neck to help him get the food down and doing rei-ki to calm him. And finally, we put Mr. Fiscus in his cage where he was cuddled and fussed over by his new best friends, Luna and Uma. Mr. Fiscus finally settled into a deep sleep with his new friends there and looked very content. This little guy will take a piece of quite a few hearts with him as he has shown everyone who has had the privelege of knowing him what true love and courage really mean. He will be greatly missed, but I am so grateful that I have had this time with him. Phyllis Spy Mom to Duchess, Tobey, Tyler, Jenny and sweet Molly B. (named after The Unsinkable Molly Brown from the Titanic, she also came from 9 months in a cellar, bald, under-nourished, but without any permanent health issues and is thoroughly enjoying her new home and her new brothers and sisters)

UPDATE...June 22, 2001

from Phyl I saw him again last night and Jan asked me to feed him his Duck Soup. I was glad she was not around to see me break down as I watched Mr. Fiscus fight every little bit of food I tried to get into him. He is showing signs of having had enough and it makes me very sad to see him like this. However, after getting some soup and pedi in him, he proceeded to make us all laugh as he explored the yard, the fish pond and the pansy bed. I can only hope that I will be as brave as Jan, Mark and Joanie should any of my little ones become terminally ill. Phyllis

FINAL UPDATE...July 6, 2001

[From Diddy] Hi Kat, Sadly, I have some bad news. I will include Jan's message so you can see it yourself. I cried as if it were my own fuzzy when I read it so I can’t imagine Jan’s pain. Warmly, Diddy [From Jan, Fiscus' Mommy...to Diddy] Mr. F was put to sleep today and he was buried in your rainbow afghan. He touched so many hearts, I don't think however, that mine will ever heal from this one................... Jan (thanks for all you did for him and me!~)

[from me, kat] Jan... I can not tell you how sorry I am... My heart is one that Fiscus grabbed... now he has a piece of it at the Bridge... Love, kat

Rest Now, Mr. Fiscus...July 7, 2001 from Phyl

July 7, 2001 Last evening I was finally able to phone Jan to let her know how much I loved her for all the love and devotion she gave to our Mr. Fiscus. I had the pleasure of spending some time with Jan, Mark and Joanie on Sunday, July 1st and knew in my heart that this would be the last time I saw Mr. Fiscus. He was fighting every mouthful of food, not playing and just content to sleep in a warm bed. I again watched as the family worked very hard to make him comfortable, but knew that it was in vain. Mr. Fiscus' eyes were dull and we all knew, without saying anything, that his spirit was waning. I left that night knowing that I would be receiving an email during the week that Mr. Fiscus had left for the Bridge. My emotions run in different directions right now as I feel anger towards the folks who would let this dear sweet boy suffer so, before placing him some place where he would get the love he deserved. At the same time, I am deeply saddened by his passing and the pain felt by Jan, Mark and Joanie. Finally, I have peace knowing that when he sees Jan approaching the Bridge, he will come running to her with his Rainbow Afghan flapping behind him and two friends will be reunited for all eternity. As a personal memorial to Mr. Fiscus, I will plant pansies around his marker as well as a bed of pansies in my personal garden as a reminder of Mr. Fiscus and all the little ones out there who are patiently waiting for a family to love or who are bravely fighting a terminal disease. Good night, sweet Mr. Fiscus. You fought bravely and now you have the peace you so richly deserve. I look forward to the day when I will see you and Jan walking side by side in a meadow of fresh green grass with pansies blooming everywhere - you eating Haagen Daaz Vanilla Ice Cream while Jan waits with your Rainbow Afghan to wrap you in when you are ready to take a snooze. With a saddened, but hopeful heart, Phyllis Spy

From: Diddy Subject: To Sandee Dearest Sandee, A while ago I posted a story about the trials of Mr Fiscus. Jan of Gimme Shelter was his Mom. Fisky fought a long hard battle and yesterday Fisky lost that battle but not without a gallant fight. He was sick for a very long time and had been unable to eat anything on his own. Jan hand fed him around the clock. Now he should be able to have whatever his little heart desires. For a few days Sandee please help him find some really good things to fill his little belly with. His most favorite is vanilla ice cream. Please keep watch for him Sandee. He ll be easy to recognize cause he s so little and he will be dragging a rainbow colored afghan with him. Tell him his Mom is heart broken and misses him dreadfully. Thank You Bunches, Diddy

Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2001 17:38:30 -0700 From: Sandee Subject: Sandee greets Mr. Fiscus Hi all I have been loafing lately. A little guy named Mr. Fiscus came in today. I gave him da tour of da place and showed him all da sights and attractions. He headed immediately for da Gravy Gourmet. Then he waz off to da Fruit Bar where he snacked for some time. Then he headed for da Babyfood Balconey and ate there. I seen him later over by da Ferretone Flood where he waz waiting for dat to come in. He ate so much it is a wonder he can still walk and hiz belly don't drag da ground. He told me he waz just getting started and waz going to eat for days. Hmmm. I let him stash his afgan in my den for a while til he got hiz own. It looked comfy anyway so I will let you know. He said to send hiz mommy lots of luv and many hugs and kisses. I am off to try out dat afgan. Gotto go. Bye BYe Sandee

Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2001 14:33:29 -0400 From: Risa Di Vincenzo Subject: Mr Fiscus Reading Kat's memorial page to Mr Fiscus truly touched me and broke my heart. I had the pleasure of briefly knowing Mr Fiscus through visits to Jan's. The love and care she gave to Mr Fiscus is not unique, although he was a special soul. Many needy and loving ferrets reside at her loving shelter. Please visit her website and see some of the other fuzzie faces. www.geocities.com/sunflame16/gimmeeferrets.html This poem is inspired by Mr Fiscus and written for Jan. I wanted to include it on the FML for those that were touched by his story and by those miraculous shelter workers who have possibly known their own Mr Fiscus. How did you know I needed love true, How did you know I needed you? Food and water were only a part, What I needed came from your heart. Filled with warmth, surrounded by care, You made my world a place so dear. You showed me what I needed to see, That the world held so much love for me. Let it be known, please let it be told, That the world you showed me are the memories I hold. How sorry I am that we had to part, But until we meet I'll be in your heart. I'm not sad, so remember me please, as waiting happily among the pansies. copyright 7/11/2001 by ... Risa Di Vincenzo

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