Three ferrets from the Great Salt Lake area, stalked, tackled and ate an entire herd of buffalo today. One of the buffalo was heard to say "Ouch! That hurt!"
|just before the lead ferret, named "Uh Oh", knocked him over with a karate kick (he learned it from some kid that had the name 'Karate')|
|and ate him. Uh Oh was heard to say "Dang! That's one tough hide to chew
through!" when he started eating the buffalo.
Later, some wolves (one was carrying a flag with the name "Wolfy" on it...apparently a banner meant to identify this roving band)
|came by and thought about challenging the ferrets for some scraps, but they'd heard of the violent
reputation that ferrets have in California and decided that some tasty-looking rocks nearby
would make for a better--and safer--lunch.
When asked, one of the more-intelligent members of the California Fishy (and) Gamey (is that a word?) smelling, er, Fish and Game Department, why they feel ferrets are so dangerous, said "Um, er, well, you see, its like this, uh, we, um, well, I'm sure there's a good reason, or we wouldn't feel that way about them!"
|It turns out this eloquently-spoken person is a close relative of President Bush. He's just not sure *how*
he's related. He has a suspicion that he is a temporary half-brother, twice removed, on his
mother's side, born during the three days Bushy (as he was affectionately known by the ground
squirrels at his ranch, to whom he was so close) was supposed to be in the National Guard (he
was actually sleeping in his own bed the whole time, but the blankets were so rumpled that no
one noticed...until he wet the bed and started smelling funny.). Anyway, he is somewhat more
intelligent than Bushy, so he was more aware of the ferret problem than most anyone else in the
Anyway, the last thing Uh Oh was heard to say, was "Hey! Can someone pass the salt?"
|NOTE: The Los Angeles Times was unable to find anyone to blame for the above story, so they
just posted it and hoped that no one would ask what was going on.